There are things that people want not to happen to them, for instance, if someone experiences poverty, not able to do the things just because of lack of money, he/she certainly doesn't want to be poor again in any life. If someone experiences so much of sorrows, he/she doesn't want to cry again.
Likewise I wanted not to fall in love with a girl, not to feel the pain when you know that she's not going to be with you, not to wait for the moment so eagerly for just her call or message, not to see her in pain. But that happened, although it felt strange first because I did not have any intention to do so rather let it happen to me, but it did. These words generally strike our ears "Love at first sight", means you will recognize the special one in your life by just having a first glance on her. I didn't feel anything like that. Even I don't know if I had an impression on her when she looked at me or vice versa. We were just like any boy & girl whom we come to see in our daily life.
But then, a little spark is enough to spread the fire in the forest.
We became friends, then good friends, then very good friends, then special friends but I didn't expect for a second that I would feel so deeply for her. During first three months of job, which is nothing but a darkest part of my life, my feelings for her were getting strong day by day. We used to talk for hours on phone, shared every thing, happiness, sorrows, cries, pain etc.
That thing took us so close to each other that if one is feeling something, the other will know itself.
But....
You're most hurt, when you feel that you've everything you desire and the next moment you're empty handed just like a beggar, you can't do anything like a handicapped person can't, you can't think of anything like someone has shoot your brain pointing the gun straight to your head. Just like that, when I came to know that she doesn't have any feelings for me like I do, it felt like I had done sin by loving someone. I'm not destined to fall in love in this life.
Well, who am I to blame her? She didn't feel the way I did. What's strange in that! She had feelings for someone else. Let her. If I love her truly, I must ensure that she gets whatever she wants in her life. And that's what I am doing till now. We still share everything we experience. We still share our happiness, our sorrows, our pain. And most important of all, we still share a healthy and strong relationship. Now I know, although I decided not to fall in love, but it happened to me. Now I know what is it like wanting someone without expecting anything, what is it like waiting for just one glance of hers, what is it like sharing little things, difficult things with her. Moreover, I know what is it like loving someone so deeply, so purely.
And that's why I feel blessed that it happened to me!!!! :)
