There are things that people want not to happen to them, for instance, if someone experiences poverty, not able to do the things just because of lack of money, he/she certainly doesn't want to be poor again in any life. If someone experiences so much of sorrows, he/she doesn't want to cry again.
Likewise I wanted not to fall in love with a girl, not to feel the pain when you know that she's not going to be with you, not to wait for the moment so eagerly for just her call or message, not to see her in pain. But that happened, although it felt strange first because I did not have any intention to do so rather let it happen to me, but it did. These words generally strike our ears "Love at first sight", means you will recognize the special one in your life by just having a first glance on her. I didn't feel anything like that. Even I don't know if I had an impression on her when she looked at me or vice versa. We were just like any boy & girl whom we come to see in our daily life.
But then, a little spark is enough to spread the fire in the forest.
We became friends, then good friends, then very good friends, then special friends but I didn't expect for a second that I would feel so deeply for her. During first three months of job, which is nothing but a darkest part of my life, my feelings for her were getting strong day by day. We used to talk for hours on phone, shared every thing, happiness, sorrows, cries, pain etc.
That thing took us so close to each other that if one is feeling something, the other will know itself.
But....
You're most hurt, when you feel that you've everything you desire and the next moment you're empty handed just like a beggar, you can't do anything like a handicapped person can't, you can't think of anything like someone has shoot your brain pointing the gun straight to your head. Just like that, when I came to know that she doesn't have any feelings for me like I do, it felt like I had done sin by loving someone. I'm not destined to fall in love in this life.
Well, who am I to blame her? She didn't feel the way I did. What's strange in that! She had feelings for someone else. Let her. If I love her truly, I must ensure that she gets whatever she wants in her life. And that's what I am doing till now. We still share everything we experience. We still share our happiness, our sorrows, our pain. And most important of all, we still share a healthy and strong relationship. Now I know, although I decided not to fall in love, but it happened to me. Now I know what is it like wanting someone without expecting anything, what is it like waiting for just one glance of hers, what is it like sharing little things, difficult things with her. Moreover, I know what is it like loving someone so deeply, so purely.
And that's why I feel blessed that it happened to me!!!! :)
Showing posts with label Incident I'll never forget. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Incident I'll never forget. Show all posts
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Saturday, March 8, 2008
~~>A Total Disaster<~~
In my whole life, I have never seen such a depressed person. I am talking about a guy who has been my classmate for four long years and it is only me that knows how I have spent this time with him. Wait! Is it really me? Hmm....I think all the person who have come in contact with that guy would have suffered a lot more than I did. To be honest I don't want to mention his name here but let's name him Mr. Psycho. So I got to meet him in my first year of undergraduate program. He seemed to be good guy at first sight but as I started knowing him better, I got the idea that he isn't correct to be with. Well in two years I wasn't much in contact with him. But our talking started in third year to a sufficient extent. I got to know that he is suffering from a dangerous disease related to backbone. He even couldn't stand for long.
Time spent, we were moving on. Although I knew that he is a short-tempered guy but he never expressed physically in front of me. I came to know he had altercations with most of the guys in hostel. But I didn't care about that until the same happened to me one day.
He had visited my home 2-3 times before but the last journey of his to my home changed everything for him. Or in other words, I can say that I got a relief from a big trouble. This was the day when the examinations forms were being filled in our college. We finished it in time but forgot to tell him as I didn't know about his whereabouts. Later I came to know that he was in Rajasthan while chatting with him on the internet. There he asked me about the aforementioned. I replied affirmatively and expressed my apology to him. He then came to the college just to fill up the form with a fine of 500 rupees. He had informed me in advance that he would stay at my home and I felt no problem in this. So he came to my home and stayed for 2-3 hours. We worked for sometime on the internet and then he was ready to leave for Rajasthan again. While packing his luggage, he checked his amount of 3000 rupees which he had been carrying. And to his f****** surprise, he found it nowhere. There came the most horrible moment of my life. In no time, he was so much depressed that I thought that he is going to fall down anytime on the floor in unconsciousness. He threw all his belongings from his bag. He checked his pockets several times in front of me but all in vain. Finally he threw the locket which he was wearing on the floor and rubbed hard with his feet. The locket was holding the pictures of God and his Guru I think. Although this was a shock to me as well but I kept my cool and told him to be cool while on the way to his uncle's home in Sikandrabad.
Completely unaware of the fact that he hadn't reached his uncle's home, I was taking a deep nap and it lasted for two and half hours. It broke when my mobile rang and a female voice came from the other end. It was Psycho's mother's voice. She told me that Psycho hadn't reached his uncle's home. After having the conversation on the phone, I noticed the time and it was 6.30 pm while Psycho left at 4.00 pm. Now this was enough to sweep me off from my feet. I called to his uncle's home and got to talk to his cousin. On asking if he had reached there, he replied in negative. I told him perhaps he would have stuck in the traffic but his cousin had just come from that way and told me that there was no traffic. I then called another friend who used to be Psycho's room partner while he was in college hostel but that didn't help too.
Although this whole event was enough to make me tensed but I left it to the time. I thought he would reach his home. Later in the evening I got a call from my friend Nitin and I narrated the whole incident to him. He suggested me that perhaps he was roaming around his sister's home who never liked this Psycho. And Psycho is totally mad about his sister. He usually said that he loves her more than anything in this world. That's not of my concern. Some days later, I got to chat with Psycho on the internet and asked him where he had gone. He replied that to his uncle's home. I again narrated the whole event and asked and Psycho replied perhaps he was late. I asked to tell the truth, but got the same reply again. Finally I said ok! fine, but you never have to come to my home in the future and expressed my final bye to him.
But you know dog's tail is never going to be straight. He tried everything to talk to me. Firstly he was saying sorry to me, but when I didn't respond, he started telling everyone in the class whom he knows and they all wanted to know the reason. So the reason is that I can't tolerate his abnormalities, his depression and most of all his possessiveness. Give me space rather a lot of space so that I couldn't see you in my whole life again.
Time spent, we were moving on. Although I knew that he is a short-tempered guy but he never expressed physically in front of me. I came to know he had altercations with most of the guys in hostel. But I didn't care about that until the same happened to me one day.
He had visited my home 2-3 times before but the last journey of his to my home changed everything for him. Or in other words, I can say that I got a relief from a big trouble. This was the day when the examinations forms were being filled in our college. We finished it in time but forgot to tell him as I didn't know about his whereabouts. Later I came to know that he was in Rajasthan while chatting with him on the internet. There he asked me about the aforementioned. I replied affirmatively and expressed my apology to him. He then came to the college just to fill up the form with a fine of 500 rupees. He had informed me in advance that he would stay at my home and I felt no problem in this. So he came to my home and stayed for 2-3 hours. We worked for sometime on the internet and then he was ready to leave for Rajasthan again. While packing his luggage, he checked his amount of 3000 rupees which he had been carrying. And to his f****** surprise, he found it nowhere. There came the most horrible moment of my life. In no time, he was so much depressed that I thought that he is going to fall down anytime on the floor in unconsciousness. He threw all his belongings from his bag. He checked his pockets several times in front of me but all in vain. Finally he threw the locket which he was wearing on the floor and rubbed hard with his feet. The locket was holding the pictures of God and his Guru I think. Although this was a shock to me as well but I kept my cool and told him to be cool while on the way to his uncle's home in Sikandrabad.
Completely unaware of the fact that he hadn't reached his uncle's home, I was taking a deep nap and it lasted for two and half hours. It broke when my mobile rang and a female voice came from the other end. It was Psycho's mother's voice. She told me that Psycho hadn't reached his uncle's home. After having the conversation on the phone, I noticed the time and it was 6.30 pm while Psycho left at 4.00 pm. Now this was enough to sweep me off from my feet. I called to his uncle's home and got to talk to his cousin. On asking if he had reached there, he replied in negative. I told him perhaps he would have stuck in the traffic but his cousin had just come from that way and told me that there was no traffic. I then called another friend who used to be Psycho's room partner while he was in college hostel but that didn't help too.
Although this whole event was enough to make me tensed but I left it to the time. I thought he would reach his home. Later in the evening I got a call from my friend Nitin and I narrated the whole incident to him. He suggested me that perhaps he was roaming around his sister's home who never liked this Psycho. And Psycho is totally mad about his sister. He usually said that he loves her more than anything in this world. That's not of my concern. Some days later, I got to chat with Psycho on the internet and asked him where he had gone. He replied that to his uncle's home. I again narrated the whole event and asked and Psycho replied perhaps he was late. I asked to tell the truth, but got the same reply again. Finally I said ok! fine, but you never have to come to my home in the future and expressed my final bye to him.
But you know dog's tail is never going to be straight. He tried everything to talk to me. Firstly he was saying sorry to me, but when I didn't respond, he started telling everyone in the class whom he knows and they all wanted to know the reason. So the reason is that I can't tolerate his abnormalities, his depression and most of all his possessiveness. Give me space rather a lot of space so that I couldn't see you in my whole life again.
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